Dance of the Crowned Buffoons

Oh the King of the North rides a pony too small With a sword made for show and a brain like a ball He declared a grand war for a flag he misplaced Then forgot what it meant got drunk and red faced The Queen of the West wears a crown made of debt Tried to conquer the seas got her slippers all wet She once hired a wizard to turn back the tide He turned out to be three frogs and a drunk in disguise We bow we scrape we bleed we die While royal heads play dress up high But down in the mud we've got a tune Raise your cup for the crowned buffoons Clashing swords and leaking balloons They march to glory trip on their gowns While we hold the line and laugh in the towns So dance dance while they decree That freedom aint free but it's cheaper for me To the mighty and mad we sing this tune Long live the crowned buffoons Now the Duke of the East wrote a war in a play But forgot all the names so he battled himself He knighted a goose by mistake in July And proposed to a mirror three times (he was high) The Princess of the South wears a hat made of pearls Says the crops will grow better if sung to by girls So we sing while we dig while she naps in the breeze May the rats in her pantry enjoy all her cheese They boast they plot they feast they frown We fight their fights then drink them down And carve their tales in outhouse rooms Raise your cup for the crowned buffoons Clashing swords and leaking balloons They march to glory trip on their gowns While we hold the line and laugh in the towns So dance dance while they decree That freedom aint free but it's cheaper for me To the mighty and mad we sing this tune Long live the crowned buffoons Oh bless the brave barons who duel in the court While we dodge the debt and the plague they forgot They name us the salt of the earth when it suits Then march us to war in their polished silk boots Raise your cup for the crowned buffoons Clashing swords and leaking balloons They march to glory trip on their gowns While we hold the line and laugh in the towns So dance dance while they decree That freedom aint free but it's cheaper for me To the mighty and mad we sing this tune Long live the crowned buffooooons And if I disappear for singing this song It means that one of them has finally caught on